Monday, 1 April 2019

Suicide Cult (2 of 2)

Prior Story: Sleep Walkers

POLICE REPORT AUGUST 20th, 2013:
The following logs were recovered from a dorm room believed to be that of Robert K. Smilt, a senior commanding officer. 
A raid of the aforementioned organization took place on the 6th of August after a distress call was received by Robert. On arrival, a mass suicide had taken place. Few members were found alive, and fewer perpetrators were arrested at the location; this led detectives to believe the organization likely had associations within the police force, in turn, allowing for a swift execution of a planned fail-safe. 
The phone by which the distress call was sent out was found beside a deceased Robert Smilt. The victim had been shot twice to the head; an isolated case as the remainder of bodies found within the compound had died from poisoning. The few members found alive had not consumed the wine handed to them, the wine is believed to be the medium of poisoning. Many more bodies were found in woodlands beside the compound, the majority of these corpses were effectively “crucified” on the trees. The victims are believed to have died of suffocation. Layers of ash were also noted within the area, scorched bones elude to cremated bodies. 
Autopsies reveal that all corpses found within the compound show, to some degree, varying levels of drug consumptions. The majority of the drugs digested were opiates, but substantial amounts of psychotropic substances were also present. The bodies found in the woodlands show, in some corpses, a similar composition of drug intake as the corpses found within the compound, while others show no such relation; due to this, investigators believe that some bodies found within the woodlands are those of non-members. A singular case of starvation and dehydration was also noted. Suffocation from crucifixion should occur long before starvation or dehydration; this singular case may also point towards torture and/or kidnapping, as of now no other corpse shows similar signs of malnutrition. Large amounts of fentanyl [Upwards of 10 kilograms] were also found within the compound and were confiscated following protocol accordingly. Studies on the log are yet to be done and conclusions are yet to be drawn by investigators.



Logs from Robert K. Smilt:
This log will encompass all events that take place over the period of time I remain undercover within the still unnamed organization. I undertake this personal mission in hopes to uncover more on the cult’s secretive practices and rituals. I was recently accepted into a local following through the misguided help of an old friend, Glen Tinmen. He has affiliated with the group for over 6 months,  and has made quite the reputation within the group, allowing for my easy entrance. A date has been set for my initiation; I shall note the proceedings of the event within this journal.

Day 1 (June 6th):
Today was the day decided by the council, Thursday, June 6th. The initiation was of unexpected severity, I still regret the actions and decision I had chosen to carry out. I have promised to document all events and happenings, and I shall follow through.
  The event started off with very stereotypical cult-like activities, the likes of gibberish filled incantations and sermons from, so-called, holy prophets claiming to be in communication with a deeper realm. Nothing of significance happened throughout the initiation until it’s ending, the final section of the initiation bears all its severity. 
We were directed to another room within the building where several members were seemingly asleep; those of us to be initiated were tasked with checking their pulses, after which we would open their mouths, administer a pill to them then sequentially check their pulse again. A curious initiate asked what the procedure was for, a supervisor responded that “we will be assisting them” and that “they all consented to this”. We all knew what we were about to do... Those who heard of this and had second thoughts were either assisted mentally or were assisted in the same way we were “assisting” the sleeping members. I should have ended the operation then and there, called for backup and used this evidence to bring down the whole organization, but a nagging feeling had me believe it wasn’t enough.. so I carried on my investigation, following orders as they were given to me. What I had to do haunts me.
This entry is written three days after the event, I have been having nightmares consistently ever since, I only hope the life I had ended shall not be in vain. 

Day 4 (June 9th):
I write both for today and day one for the aforementioned reason. 

After the initiation, new members must stay within assigned hostels for a minimum of two weeks. This first week, so far, has been the void of activities. Broadcasts of the cult’s doctrines, as well as seemingly random sentences, such as: "IN DEATH DO WE HAVE VISION", "THE INNER YOU IS TRAPPED... YOU WANT TO BE FREED" and a few others, have been played repetitively throughout these first few days. At this point, most, if not all, have been memorised, yet all still sound like the same incoherent gibberish they had always sounded like. Gladly, over time I have noticed the frequency of the broadcasts gradually reducing, at least during the day, I am not quite certain about the night, but since day one the night broadcasts have always been far more subtle and quiet, the words strangely soothing, as if purposefully created for sleep. I conclude my log here.


Day 8 (June 13th):
A week has elapsed since I first joined. A meeting for all new members was held to commemorate this milestone. The meeting was incredibly mundane, that is apart from the amazing news we had received nearing its end.
At the meeting's end, we were all given the right to return to the outside society on the condition that we attend all meetings, or, to continue residing within the assigned living quarters if we so chose, contrary to the two-week period I had been told earlier. This was the best news I could have ever received after the events that had unfolded. My soothing reveries of laying in bed alongside my wife were, however, cut short by a brief, but the weighty announcement that we would all have big decisions to make in due time. What big decision might we have to take after resolving to take a life a few days ago; the short announcement irked me to my core, but decided to pay it very little mind, for the time being. Immediately, at the meetings close, I returned to my dorm room and started packing. I write this log minutes before departing.

Day 9 (June 14th):
The first day back home has been needed-ly calm. I’d most likely need a few days to readjust back to the long lost, and missed, home feeling that I had left for what relatively feels like weeks. 
So far, the only worrying issue is the constant prodding from my wife to discuss the past week; I refuse and she respects my choice, probably in hopes I will open up later, though it is visibly clear she is annoyed that I choose to not even disclose my first day with her, the day I left home and saw her last, and the day I am least willing to talk about. I think, even if I could discuss the logs I write, the time I spend within that community would still be as secretive as if I wasn’t. My only wish is that the issue doesn’t persist as I attend meetings without communicating the happenings with her afterwards... 

I still haven’t told her about the meetings...

PS: I apologize if my entries become more personal, I desperately need an outlet that feels the least bit human.

Day 10 (June 15th):
Today was a huge refresher. I woke up to an understanding talk with my wife, explained the need for secrecy and told her about the ongoing meetings I had to attend, she acknowledged and approved my meeting going with very little resistance, this made everything all the easier to handle. She only had me promise that no matter what, I don’t get too far gone into the investigation; I promised... knowing I had already broken it. I only hope I can make it up to her after this whole ordeal, she means the world to me and I hate lying to her. I just hope she’s able to forgive me.
Might as well end this entry now. Seeing her sleep beside me is making me feel unbearably guilty... This will be my last entry until the first meeting on Wednesday (June 19th).

Day 14 (June 19th):
The first meeting was, to be truthful, more welcoming than I would have expected, and, in some way, than I would have liked. In honesty, I preferred it to the long and gruelling Sunday hours spent in church as a child, I guess back then I was forced, or at least forced more directly.
It was a pretty basic meeting in all, nothing new introduced; to be honest, I wouldn’t even describe the event as a meeting in the slightest, it seems more suitable to group it alongside the aforementioned church service, the similarities were vast: A preacher, an overarching topic; even down to the scenery, symbolic statues and temple-like architecture all alluding to an eye in the place of Jesus Christ. The whole setting rekindled a long-forgotten sacred feel I once had for the church, yet, I give no same respect to the disturbing community I find myself in.
Returning to my description of the event, the only major difference from conventional church services was the dinner that we all participated in at the very end. The meal was of fairly high quality, served was a thick slice of chicken ham and a generous serving of bronze-coloured, roasted baby potatoes, both drenched in the sweetest tasting gravy I had ever tasted, all to be washed down with a glass of wine barely one-quarter full; the wine’s taste was unique. At the time I feared being poisoned, but now I feel its unique taste was probably because of how long it was fermented; it would explain why such small amounts were shared, and also the why the feeling of warmth was a lot more engulfing than regular wine. The meal, in all, made the whole event that much more pleasant. I came home with some leftover chicken ham for my wife, she appreciated it but wish they’d allowed me to take some wine home; then again, it was probably really expensive and rare that they couldn’t afford to serve every Joe or Josephina that wanted an extra sip without running out.
I conclude the log here, as there isn’t much else for me to say for the time being. Signing off till the next important day.

Day 26 (June 31st):
A quick update on the status quo. I received a letter from a semi-familiar neighbour issued out from the community. I had never seen her at a meeting before and was surprised to see a member living so close by. The letter has been attached to the end of this log.
This notice did not bother me in the slightest, but my wife, on the other hand, was furious, I couldn’t understand her frustrations in the slightest. She’s been asking a lot of accusative questions lately and seemed visibly annoyed when the neighbour came to drop the letter; I think I might bring her along for one night just to clear things up.
Signing off till the 2nd of July, the first meeting of the new month and the meeting I hope to bring my wife along for.


Day 28 (July 2nd):
Today was the first meeting of the month. After much debate with my wife, she finally agreed to join me for the meeting. I believe that all was relatively fine and well, but my wife seemed visibly disturbed throughout the whole event and, till now, still seems rather shaken. She hasn’t said much about the event, but she’d most likely air her thoughts in the morning.
On arriving at the compound and walking into the buildings, higher-ups, clearly flustered, came to me and questioned why I would allow an outsider to follow me, I gave a flimsy excuse that was seemingly good enough for them, and so they left me with a warning. The meeting carried on as normal, and all was going well until the dinner, which, I presume, was the part my wife had the biggest issue with, sadly and ironically my favourite part of these meetings; I hoped my wife would enjoy the meal and become more welcoming of the community, but one small quarrel had to ruin it. During the dinner, all was going fine until a man refused to eat his food or drink his wine. The small disagreement turned sour fast, the higher-ups, who were having none of it, ordered several members to persuade him to eat. Eventually, the man was made to partake in the meal, forcefully. I paid very little mind to this and kept enjoying my meal, my wife, on the other hand, didn’t take such a sight lightly and wanted to speak up; the possibility of such hastily diverted my attention away from my dinner plate and to the awareness of my wife’s discomfort. After calming her down I promptly reminded her that these things are to be expected in communities such as the one we’ve found ourselves in this night— though I was nearly as much shook as she witnessing such for the first time, I didn’t want us to attract any unnecessary attention. She understood and simultaneously calmed down, but still visibly disturbed, refused to eat or drink the water she had been given in place of the member’s luxury wine. No one seemed to bat an eyelid to this, even the higher-ups who had, just a few moments ago, led a crusade against one man for not eating, showed clear and unmistakable apathy to my wife’s decision. I was tempted to follow in my wife’s actions but couldn’t turn down such a cuisine.
After the meeting I was quite drowsy from the wine (which has been given out more generously recently), so my wife decided to drive us home. Arriving home, I write this log entry.

Day 45 (July 19th):
It’s been a while since my last entry. The day after my last entry (a Thursday), my wife requested that I’d stop going for the meetings, I didn’t protest much to this but negotiated with her that I would stop after the day’s meeting. I wrote a convincing letter so as to be excused on the approaching Sunday. Luckily a response letter approving my absence came through the Saturday before the meeting. I knew I couldn’t keep writing letters and so resolved to simply not show up for the upcoming Wednesday meeting; I wasn’t queried and so opted to just attend once in a while.
On Sunday, July 13th, I was finally questioned, but I paid this short query from my neighbour very little mind, but over time, the querying became increasingly common and worrying. I’ve finally decided to attend the next meeting after several members, at least 30+, showed up to my house after this week’s Thursday meeting, to query my absence.
My wife suggested we move but I recommended that we wait till after the investigation so that we could apply for witness protection afterwards if necessary. She didn’t like the idea but eventually caved in. I’ll be attending the meeting tomorrow. An update shall be posted.

Day 46 (July 20th):
God, I love the community I’m a part of. My wife refuses to see what I see in the community. I keep trying to convince her she doesn’t have to follow their beliefs to enjoy the perks, but she refuses and wants to stay fixated on the communities few issues and, my constant scratching from time to time which, she insists, is the community’s fault, how is that even possible? I swear she’s getting more and more paranoid by the day. I still love her to bits, she’s my princess... I just want to hold her for hours.
            Everything today has been so great that I just feel like writing down my appreciation and gratitude. The community really lifted my spirits with today’s meeting. It started normal, but they gave Me (can you believe it, just another random joe that, I thought, no one even noticed) a lot of attention and recognition. I was confused, where are the consequences that were always threatened for not adhering to rules? Instead, I was greeted with apologizes from the whole community for the surprise visit they paid me and my wife on Thursday; I was very sceptical and still on guard, but put on a face of guilt to play along. Dinner was the most beautiful part; I swear, I don’t think anyone has ever cared for me, or shown as much care for me as the community had during the dinner. They made me a feast for a king, a banquet for a commander. I didn’t deserve any of it... At the time I questioned all of it and even reluctantly asked a preacher why they did all this for me... He said I was the prodigal son, and that they were just so happy to have me back. Still, I had my guard up, but I ate, feeling I didn’t have a choice, but we always do in my community. I had so much wine to drink that I couldn’t even avoid getting drunk, the warmth and comfort were incredibly euphoric; I swear nothing like any alcohol I had ever drunk before, I haven’t even gotten sick since the dinner. I still felt perfectly functional, but a member insisted they’d take me home. I was flattered and so I accepted. I thanked everyone for the amazing night then left. Now I’m on my bed, my beautiful wifey beside me and I’m just grateful for how everything turned out in the end. Signing off till the next day.

Day 47 (July 21st):
I apologize for my overly ecstatic writing while in intoxicated yesterday, in spite of this, the quick drift from reality was very much appreciated.
I am thinking of moving back into the community’s allocated hostels to further my investigations, that is till I have a final and complete account of all the relevant events that take place under the organisation. My wife disapproves and, to be frank, has really been getting on my nerves lately with her lack of understanding. Still hoping she’d eventually become more supportive, holding back on returning to the hostels till I get her approval. Signing off.



WHAT THE FUCK!
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
SO THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR EVERYTHING I TRY TO DO RIGHT?
THEN THIS IS WHAT SHE GETS FOR EVERYTHING SHE HAS DONE WRONG



Day 53 (July 27th):
I just moved back to the hostels this afternoon. I was welcomed warmly and helped settle back in. Before reaching my room, a preacher sanctified me with ash, he drew a sideways oval on my forehead with a dab of ash in the centre; on checking a mirror, the ash outline was unmistakably an eye.  
Also, it seems like I wasn’t the first to decide to move back, quite a number of familiar faces from the initiation day were around, they all seemed quite happy to be back. I write this before the meeting today. If anything of importance occurs, I shall update in this log as soon as possible.

Day 54 (July 28th):
The dinner is so very hard to remember, I can’t even understand, I try hard to but don’t remember. I’m drenched in sweat, I don’t remember a thing, I’m really trying. The dream I had irks me... Why can’t I remember...

Day 58 (August 1st):
I finally have somewhat of an understanding and everything is going great. The big event is today, I need to go home to get what is required for the event. I know everything I do will be worthwhile, I think I finally have an understanding of everything. I appreciate everything you have done for us John, May your soul Rest In Peace.

Day 59 (August 2nd):
The event was truly an eye-opening, beautiful spectacle, it enlightened so many of us in so many ways. I am proud to be a part of this community. I hope to rewrite these logs and to help enlighten others that may be as frightened as I at the beginning. This is my last entry, my life has been changed for the better, I’m happy now.

Day 63 (August 6th):
I don’t feel the same anymore, I’m scared of becoming like them. I thought I understood. I felt I was chosen. I can’t let this happen anymore. I’ve lost everything, my brother, my wife, my innocence. If I die… I pray I’m reunited with them.

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